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Maybe this was a male-female translation problem. I read an article once that said that when women have a conversation, they're communicating on five levels. They follow the conversation that they're actually having, the conversation that is specifically being avoided, the tone being applied to the overt conversation, the buried conversation that is being covered only in subtext, and finally the other person's body language. That is, on many levels, astounding to me. I mean, that's like having a freaking superpower. When I, and most other people with a Y chromosome, have a conversation, we're having a conversation. Singular. We're paying attention to what is being said, considering that, and replying to it. All these other conversations that have apparently been going on for the last several thousand years? I didn't even know that they ~existed~ until I read that stupid article, and I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one.
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communication-problem
communication-skills
dating
gender
gender-differences
gender-stereotypes
men
men-and-women
relationships
women
women-and-men
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Jim Butcher |
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Would you like to feel a calm confidence when you walk into a room full of strangers, knowing that you can start new a conversation with anyone?
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build-confidence
communication-skills
mindset-quotes
motivational-speaker
preparation-quotes
quotes-by-susan-c-young
relationship-quotes
susan-young
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Susan C. Young |
91e1c2d
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You can be dressed to the nines and have it all going on, but if you don't have shoes to support your look, they can be your undoing. Your shoes should be appropriate, clean, polished, and maintained if you want to make a great impression and fortify your credibility. If your shoes are scuffed, dirty, or worn, clients may wonder what other details you've neglected to attend to.
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branding
communication-skills
dress-for-success
motivational-speaker
quotes-by-susan-c-young
relationship-quotes
success
susan-young
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Susan C. Young |
76df83e
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Not everyone is always going to like you. What impresses one person may turn another away. To thine own self be true.
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communication-quotes
communication-skills
first-impressions
motivational-speaker
personality-development
relationship-quotes
social-networking
susan-young
trust
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Susan C. Young |
ee47abe
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Even if you're not broadcasting your personal life to the universe through social media, choose your confidants wisely and with discretion. Your ability to keep your personal details close to your vest will encourage others to feel that you are trustworthy enough to be trusted with their personal details.
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best-motivational-speakers
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communication-skills
customer-service-quotes
discretion
first-impressions-quotes
quotes-by-susan-c-young
relationship-quotes
speaker-susan-young
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Susan C. Young |
3810b74
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To say your mindset is critical to your success is a gross understatement--it is the underpinning!
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build-confidence
communication-skills
mindset-quotes
motivational-speaker
preparation-quotes
quotes-by-susan-c-young
relationship-quotes
susan-young
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Susan C. Young |
32e42ad
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"Just as your body has self-regulating mechanisms, like perspiring to cool you down and shivering to warm you up, you can regulate your emotions according to the circumstances. You can abstain from over-reacting, and you know how to set boundaries and how to say "no."
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communication-skills
emotional-intelligence-quotes
motivational-speaker
preparation-quotes
quotes-by-susan-c-young
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susan-young
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Susan C. Young |
a4bfe20
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Your mindset brings together your attitude, perceptions, experience, interpretations, opinions, beliefs, values, and understanding to determine how you think, act, walk, talk, behave, and engage.
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build-confidence
communication-skills
mindset-quotes
motivational-speaker
preparation-quotes
quotes-by-susan-c-young
relationship-quotes
susan-young
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Susan C. Young |
4d3ee3e
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Many people go through life complaining, whining, and obsessing so much about what they don't have that they are doing exactly what it takes to block it.
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build-confidence
communication-skills
mindset-quotes
motivational-speaker
preparation-quotes
quotes-by-susan-c-young
relationship-quotes
susan-young
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Susan C. Young |
bd05c34
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Do your clothes make you feel happy, beautiful, comfortable in your skin, handsome, confident, or powerful?
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branding
communication-skills
dress-for-success
motivational-speaker
quotes-by-susan-c-young
relationship-quotes
success
susan-young
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Susan C. Young |
9226d73
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Learn to leverage the Law of Cause and Effect to your advantage in positive ways!
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build-confidence
communication-skills
mindset-quotes
motivational-speaker
preparation-quotes
quotes-by-susan-c-young
relationship-quotes
susan-young
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Susan C. Young |
92299f0
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Emotionally intelligent people trust their instincts and can identify how certain thoughts, feelings, people, and situations make them feel.
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communication-skills
emotional-intelligence-quotes
motivational-speaker
preparation-quotes
quotes-by-susan-c-young
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susan-young
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Susan C. Young |
2aa92c2
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Emotionally intelligent people hold themselves accountable for their behavior, failures, decisions, and successes.
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communication-skills
emotional-intelligence-quotes
motivational-speaker
preparation-quotes
quotes-by-susan-c-young
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susan-young
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Susan C. Young |
0dd165c
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One simple glance can convey to your recipient that you are . . . * Present * Interested * Paying attention * Being respectful * Listening * Confident * Engaged * Caring * Dedicated * Appreciative * Empathetic * Focused * Supportive * Trustworthy * Acknowledging * Excited This list barely scratches the surface; however, it opens the conversation about how vital your eye contact is for making positive first impressions.
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body-language-quotes
communication-skills
eye-contact-quotes
law-of-attraction-quotes
mirroring
motivational-speaker-susan-young
quotes-by-susan-c-young
reciprocity
relationship-quotes
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Susan C. Young |
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When speakers make eye contact with an audience, they will be perceived as being more prepared, more competent, confident, and trustworthy. Eye contact helps to relax the speaker and reminds them that their audience is made up of separate individuals who perceive things differently. Audience response is clearly seen in the expressions of their eyes.
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body-language-quotes
communication-skills
eye-contact-quotes
law-of-attraction-quotes
mirroring
motivational-speaker-susan-young
quotes-by-susan-c-young
reciprocity
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Susan C. Young |
67a0577
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Get ready to take on the world from a position of personal power, strength, and intention!
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communication-skills
motivational-speaker
preparation-quotes
quotes-by-susan-c-young
relationship-quotes
susan-young
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Susan C. Young |
c1b4aae
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UN-Impressive Acts of Indiscretion * Forwarding other people's emails without getting permission. * Throwing other people under the bus to save yourself. * Talking loudly, being boorish and insensitive to the others around you. * Flagrant cheating. * Burning bridges. * Talking smack. * Dissing your competitor to your customer. * Oversharing and revealing too much personal information about yourself and others. * Breaking trust by sharing someone else's secrets. * Being passive-aggressive to manipulate a situation or person. * Saying one thing and doing another. * Being two-faced. * Lying by omission. * Dispensing bulls#@%!
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best-motivational-speakers
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communication-skills
customer-service-quotes
discretion
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quotes-by-susan-c-young
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speaker-susan-young
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Susan C. Young |
2bc53a3
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Get outside your comfort zone. Stretch beyond your norm and try new things.
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communication-skills
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first-impressions
motivational-speaker
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self-confidence
self-esteem-quotes
susan-young
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Susan C. Young |
4190eb3
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Earning Trust & Cooperation The number one thing which stands between you and meeting a new person is tension. What is the number one thing which stands between a sales person and their prospect? You guessed it . . . tension. One of our first priorities as we initiate a first impression must be to focus on how to effectively minimize or eliminate tension. Regardless of your relationship or venue, when tension is high, trust and cooperation are low. When tension is reduced, trust and cooperation increase. It is an inverse relationship. So, how can you move to reduce tension in your first impressions to increase trust and cooperation? Put yourself in their shoes and seek to relate to them with an equal footing on a level playing field. Demonstrate how you can bring value to their lives.
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best-motivational-speakers
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communication-skills
customer-service-quotes
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quotes-by-susan-c-young
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trust
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Susan C. Young |
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Being culturally aware and respectful of others' cultures will help you to keep the habit of making eye contact in context. As a matter of fact, in some parts of the world making eye contact can be construed as being exactly the opposite of what I am sharing in these pages. Making a great first impression is always about the specific environment and circumstance, isn't it?
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body-language-quotes
communication-skills
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law-of-attraction-quotes
mirroring
motivational-speaker-susan-young
quotes-by-susan-c-young
reciprocity
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Susan C. Young |
3f2a45d
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Wouldn't you like to arrive to any event or situation with a sense of confidence and ease that things are as they need to be?
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communication-skills
motivational-speaker
preparation-quotes
quotes-by-susan-c-young
relationship-quotes
susan-young
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Susan C. Young |
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7 Ways to Improve Eye Contact at any Time 1. Relax into the moment by smiling. 2. Practice making eye contact with people you trust, so that when you are with strangers, it is easier to form a connection. 3. When you feel uncomfortable, begin by looking at their mouth or forehead. 4. Lean in and show that you are interested and attentive. 5. Put a little space between you and the other person. 6. Remember that the other person may be feeling just as awkward. 7. Don't give them a blank stare throughout a conversation. Rather, practice gazing down or to the side every few moments so that you appear relaxed.
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body-language-quotes
communication-skills
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law-of-attraction-quotes
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quotes-by-susan-c-young
reciprocity
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Susan C. Young |
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Eye Contact Can Reveal if a Person is . . . * Shy or gregarious * Honest or deceitful * Confident or terrified * Interested or bored * Patient or irritated * Sincere or inauthentic * Organized or Unprepared * Attentive or distracted
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body-language-quotes
communication-skills
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law-of-attraction-quotes
mirroring
motivational-speaker-susan-young
quotes-by-susan-c-young
reciprocity
relationship-quotes
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Susan C. Young |
9b9170e
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"There are times when eye contact can move to the dark side and become creepy, hostile, rude, or condescending. When it is overused or made for the wrong reasons, eye contact can make others feel uncomfortable and leave a terrible impression . . . * obsessive staring * mocking * too much intensity * inappropriate focus * averting eyes * obvious contempt * gawking, ogling * casting the "evil eye" * over-watching * intimidating * unwelcome looks * rolling the eyes"
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body-language-quotes
communication-skills
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law-of-attraction-quotes
mirroring
motivational-speaker-susan-young
quotes-by-susan-c-young
reciprocity
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Susan C. Young |
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We've all been in the middle of a conversation and the person with whom we are speaking breaks eye contact, appears distracted, glazes over, or looks elsewhere. Their simple eye movement can quickly break down communications by making us feel ignored, dismissed, or rejected. For some, it may be accidental and unintentional, while for others, avoiding eye contact is on purpose.
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body-language-quotes
communication-skills
eye-contact-quotes
law-of-attraction-quotes
mirroring
motivational-speaker-susan-young
quotes-by-susan-c-young
reciprocity
relationship-quotes
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Susan C. Young |
40a9a9d
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Whether it is in a sales situation, love at first sight, a husband and wife having an important conversation, a parent disciplining a child, or a teacher instructing her students, eye contact is a powerful body language for enriching engagement, focus, and communication.
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body-language-quotes
communication-skills
eye-contact-quotes
law-of-attraction-quotes
mirroring
motivational-speaker-susan-young
quotes-by-susan-c-young
reciprocity
relationship-quotes
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Susan C. Young |
d0deb30
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As you jump new hurdles, you gain greater confidence. Confidence can be achieved like any other practiced skill.
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charm-quotes
communication-quotes
communication-skills
first-impressions
motivational-speaker
relationship-quotes
self-confidence
self-esteem-quotes
susan-young
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Susan C. Young |
1665b44
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When my son was a teenager, he would use the 'poker face' tactic when I was lecturing, nagging, or suggesting. As a parent, it was maddening because I could not read his reactions! His stoicism would sometimes deflate my efforts or make me surrender in laughter, changing the subject all together.
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communication-skills
customer-service-quotes
expressions-of-emotion
law-of-attraction-quotes
motivational-speaker-susan-young
quotes-by-susan-c-young
relationship-quotes
smiling-quotes
susanspeaks-com
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Susan C. Young |
c316799
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It is through these facial expressions that we write and feel our life story, create lifelong social habits--through which we are received and perceived by a multitude of others. When you want to make a positive first impression, let your face know!
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communication-skills
customer-service-quotes
expressions-of-emotion
law-of-attraction-quotes
motivational-speaker-susan-young
quotes-by-susan-c-young
relationship-quotes
smiling-quotes
susanspeaks-com
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Susan C. Young |
a1f3336
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Discretion is the Larger Part of Valor Discretion represents both your personal self-respect and the respect you have for other people. A discreet person has the wisdom to differentiate between good and bad, right and wrong, and favorable and unfavorable.
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best-motivational-speakers
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customer-service-quotes
discretion
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Susan C. Young |
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A smile is one of the most powerful and important body language cues we share with others--and as such a heartfelt emotion, it's impossible to express its effect on others in words.
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body-language-quotes
communication-skills
expressions-of-emotion
law-of-attraction-quotes
motivational-speaker-susan-young
quotes-by-susan-c-young
relationship-quotes
smiling-quotes
susanspeaks-com
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Susan C. Young |
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Use Fun & Humor. Humor lightens spirits, comforts through a challenge, brings people together, engages, and entertains. Bring delight and joy to others and you will leave them wanting more.
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Susan C. Young |
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The best safeguards you have are to live with dignity, love, and self-respect, and to make choices you can be proud of in the first place. Even as an adult, I still think to myself--what would my mother say?
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best-motivational-speakers
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Susan C. Young |
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"Uh-Oh . . . One year I was the guest speaker at an annual conference. The person who coordinated the agenda mistakenly typed my name as "Sue" rather than "Susan." I felt odd and a little disrespected because they didn't take the time to ask the spelling of my name. It felt awkward when I saw it on all the tables throughout the ballroom, to say the least. I asked, "Please make sure that you introduce me as Susan because I've never been called Sue." The initial impression was sticky for an instant, but they quickly made it right. The correction was shared and everything turned out fine. Even an innocent and unintentional name error can impact your first impressions. Making a joke about it once I was on stage was a light-hearted way to confirm my real name."
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communication-skills
customer-service-quotes
employee-engagement
first-impressions-quotes
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quotes-by-susan-c-young
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team-building
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Susan C. Young |
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A strong handshake conveys confidence, clarity, strength, and intention. As with everything else in life, if it is overzealous, it may be seen as aggressive, arrogant, or dominating. A bone-crushing vice-grip is just plain obnoxious and one of the fastest ways to make someone angry.
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communication-skills
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motivational-speaker-susan-young
quotes-by-susan-c-young
relationship-quotes
susanspeaks-com
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Susan C. Young |
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"Palm Reading 101 * Palm Up-- Conveys openness, service, humility, and sympathy. * Palm Down--Demonstrates authority, superiority, and control. * Palm Vertical--Shows you are meeting on equal terms with a mutually respectful greeting. * Palm Wet, Cold, or Clammy--Ick! The "dead fish" is creepy. Make your hands warm and dry before reaching out to touch someone, please! It can also be conveyed as being nervous or over-excited. * Palm Perfect--This is my favorite. Better known as the "hand hug." While you are shaking hands with your right hand, place your left hand on top, wrapping both people in warmth and trust. This two-handed shake illustrates affection, caring, or concern, especially when you then reach up to grasp their arm or shoulder."
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communication-skills
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motivational-speaker-susan-young
quotes-by-susan-c-young
relationship-quotes
susanspeaks-com
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Susan C. Young |
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High fives and fist bumps have become the popular alternatives to traditional handshakes, especially among the younger generations. As a new social norm, they are used as a greeting, an approval, an acknowledgement, a celebration, and a gesture of understanding. High fives and fist bumps are also viewed as a healthier alternative to traditional handshakes because they don't spread germs.
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communication-skills
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susanspeaks-com
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Susan C. Young |
d0d22f8
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Physical touch is one of my primary love languages. For those of us who share this love language, touching is an endearing gesture of affection, appreciation, and connection. It is not intended to be inappropriate in any way when we hug you upon meeting, pat your back, or squeeze your arm. For us, it is an enthusiastic demonstration of friendship. However, there are many people who do NOT like to be touched--men or women. In spite of our good intentions, touching can make others feel awkward, offended, and in the worst-case scenario, violated. It is crucial to be vigilant and socially aware enough that you can read people's cues to know when to pull back and contain yourself.
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communication-skills
customer-service-quotes
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handshake-quotes
motivational-speaker-susan-young
quotes-by-susan-c-young
relationship-quotes
susanspeaks-com
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Susan C. Young |
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Becoming an expert not only establishes you as a leader in your field, it will make you a trusted resource that people can rely on for new and innovative ideas. In addition to raising the stakes and helping you increase your income, your expertise will serve to make a powerful first impression, which will truly help you shine and stand apart from the crowd. Having fun and meeting interesting, incredible people along the way is an added bonus!
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branding
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healthy-habits
motivational-speaker
quotes-by-susan-c-young
relationship-quotes
speaker-susan-young
success-quotes
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Susan C. Young |
8ffc737
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"I was once hired by an organization to deliver a workshop on networking. The goal was to provide their engineers with tools and strategies for expanding their circles of influence--to foster innovation, collaboration, and teambuilding. One of the engineers raised her hand in the middle of the program and bluntly said, "I'm happy with the people in my life and don't care to add any more." I respect and appreciate her position and have sometimes felt the same way. But, as long as we are alive, we will meet, greet, and interact with new people. Even if we are not inviting them into our personal lives, being socially brave will open new doors which may have remained closed otherwise."
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communication-skills
emotional-intelligence-quotes
motivational-speaker-susan-young
positive-first-impression-quotes
quotes-by-susan-c-young
relationship-quotes
susanspeaks-com
take-the-initiative
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Susan C. Young |
8afc8c8
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Every one of us, at some time or another, has allowed fear to prevent us from living our best possible life. The first step in conquering our fears is to identify and confront them. Among the most common are: * Failure * Success * Being rejected * Looking stupid * Financial insecurity * Falling on your face * Being vulnerable * Appearing weak or unhealthy * Exposing your secrets * Being alone or unloved * Upsetting the status quo * Disappointing others
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communication-skills
conquer-fear
emotional-intelligence-quotes
motivational-speaker-susan-young
positive-first-impression-quotes
quotes-by-susan-c-young
relationship-quotes
susanspeaks-com
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Susan C. Young |
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To cultivate bravery and courage, avoid the bystander effect. Rather than standing on the sidelines watching other people achieve their goals, jump in with both feet and get involved.
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communication-skills
conquer-fear
emotional-intelligence-quotes
motivational-speaker-susan-young
positive-first-impression-quotes
quotes-by-susan-c-young
relationship-quotes
susanspeaks-com
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Susan C. Young |
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So, what if you are not naturally funny? Don't get discouraged. Do your research, gather ideas, and find your fun. Seek ways to laugh. Not only will doing this provide you with new material for making a great first impression, but laughter will bring you personal delight and satisfaction. Putting a smile on someone's face is one of the best gifts you can deliver.
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best-motivational-speakers
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customer-service-quotes
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Susan C. Young |
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What is acceptable on a personal level is very different from what is acceptable on a business level. When we utilize touch well, we can elevate our presentation, demonstrate respect, and convey confidence. However, when we use touch poorly, it can be disastrous, personally and professionally.
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communication-skills
customer-service-quotes
emotional-intelligence-quotes
first-impressions-quotes
handshake-quotes
motivational-speaker-susan-young
quotes-by-susan-c-young
relationship-quotes
susanspeaks-com
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Susan C. Young |
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Be a Discovery Expert. Be inquisitive. A wonderful way to get to know someone is simply by asking questions. The more you ask, the more you can learn . . . about people, work, life.
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best-motivational-speakers
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Susan C. Young |
a29e3d7
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"Many hospitality companies follow the "5 and 10 Rule," whereby when a customer is within ten feet of the employee, they should provide acknowledgement with eye contact and a genuine smile. When the customer is within five feet, it is encouraged to provide a warm welcome, sincere greeting, a friendly gesture, and offer to help, or to engage him or her in conversation."
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communication-skills
customer-service-quotes
emotional-intelligence-quotes
expressions-of-emotion
law-of-attraction-quotes
motivational-speaker-susan-young
quotes-by-susan-c-young
relationship-quotes
susanspeaks-com
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Susan C. Young |
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We must remember that some hand gestures which are commonly used and widely accepted in the U.S. might be considered rude or offensive in other countries. As always, I encourage you to be mindful of how and where you use certain gestures to assure you maintain your professionalism and positive impressions.
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communication-skills
customer-service-quotes
expressions-of-emotion
law-of-attraction-quotes
motivational-speaker-susan-young
posture-quotes
quotes-by-susan-c-young
relationship-quotes
susanspeaks-com
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Susan C. Young |
3f2e098
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"Since we know people like to do business with people who are most like themselves, consider this: Excellent sales people understand that "matching and mirroring" another person's body language is a powerful technique and subliminal way to develop trust, build rapport, and make their clients more comfortable and engaging. Subtly mirroring the postures, gestures, and body language of your client inspires a kinship of commonality."
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communication-skills
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mirroring
motivational-speaker-susan-young
neuro-linguistic-programming
quotes-by-susan-c-young
reciprocity
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Susan C. Young |
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Indiscretion and poor judgment not only can destroy a positive first impression, they also can have lasting negative consequences for which there is no return. Even years into the future, moments of indiscretion in the past can come back to bite you when you least expect it.
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Susan C. Young |
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Your poise, postures, and gestures are the physical manifestations of your attitudes, perceptions, belief systems, self-esteem, feelings, and engagement. Be sure to know if they are working well or hindering the actualization of your potential. Being the architect for your habitual patterns of non-verbal language, you have the power to change any of it at any time.
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communication-skills
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susanspeaks-com
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Susan C. Young |
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How do you enter a room? How do you walk into a job interview? How do you approach a sales prospect for the first time? Accomplished leaders know that the way they make an entrance can project their confidence and set the tone for their interaction with others. Use your poise, postures, and gestures to make it grand.
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communication-skills
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susanspeaks-com
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Susan C. Young |
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A smart way of using your hands to make you look more interesting, thoughtful, and self-assured is to steeple your hands and fingers. Try using it strategically in formal environments or workplaces to show confidence and consideration.
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susanspeaks-com
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Susan C. Young |
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As a professional speaker, Susanne travels all over the country and practically lives on airplanes. One day as she entered security to board yet another flight, she was struck by the poise, posture, and gestures of the man in front of her in line. As a communications expert, she observed his excellent presentation with appreciation and awe. The gentleman was dressed impeccably in a crisp white shirt and well-fitted suit and he sported a new haircut. She watched him as he removed his flawless leather belt, his gold money clip, and well-polished shoes. (And of course, he had Listerine in a baggie to ensure fresh breath!) The care with which he dismantled was impressive. His poised and fluid movements were deliberate and respectful of his personal possessions. As he regrouped and proceeded down the concourse, she was struck by how his stance and carriage intrigued and impressed her. His projection of elegance created a presence of pride and dignity. He left a remarkable impression.
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communication-skills
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motivational-speaker-susan-young
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susanspeaks-com
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Susan C. Young |
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Social orientation can be used to your advantage to make a great first impression; however, it can also backfire when we violate the boundaries of someone else's personal space. Awareness of space, orientation, and proximity is a powerful tool for your relationship toolbox.
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communication-skills
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law-of-attraction-quotes
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susanspeaks-com
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Susan C. Young |
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Proxemics is the study of human use of space and the effects that population density has on behavior, social interaction, and communication. Imagine invisible bubbles around every person that provides each of us with comfort zones for social engagement and interaction.
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communication-skills
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susanspeaks-com
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Susan C. Young |
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"One of the speaking programs I deliver is entitled, "Service with a Smile . . . How to Create a Sensational Customer Experience." Smiling is at the heart of my teaching because when employees smile while delivering service, it tells the guest/client/customer . . . You matter. You are important. We are glad you are here. We appreciate your business."
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susanspeaks-com
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Susan C. Young |
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Smiling is one of your most powerful non-verbal behaviors. People do read a book by its cover and these expressions provide glimpses into what they will find inside.
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communication-skills
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expressions-of-emotion
law-of-attraction-quotes
motivational-speaker-susan-young
quotes-by-susan-c-young
relationship-quotes
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susanspeaks-com
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Susan C. Young |
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What are you projecting? How are you showing up? Are you aware of how your expressions are impacting your communication with others?
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communication-skills
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expressions-of-emotion
law-of-attraction-quotes
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quotes-by-susan-c-young
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susanspeaks-com
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Susan C. Young |
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At any moment, you can use your face to open doors of opportunity if it demonstrates interest, enthusiasm, respect, understanding, delight, agreement, and more.
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law-of-attraction-quotes
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susanspeaks-com
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Susan C. Young |
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Look at the single words below; wear these emotions on your face for just a moment. Try them on for size and note how they make you feel: Happiness. Fear. Anger. Sadness. Contempt. Surprise. Disgust. These are the basic human emotions which communicate with clear understanding across cultures, languages, and countries. In other words, a smile naturally conveys happiness and a frown naturally conveys sadness, no matter where you may be using your passport.
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communication-skills
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expressions-of-emotion
law-of-attraction-quotes
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quotes-by-susan-c-young
relationship-quotes
smiling-quotes
susanspeaks-com
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Susan C. Young |
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What is easy for one person may be terrifying for another. Not all people have developed an unshakable confidence to kick butt and conquer. How can meek and quiet wallflowers, both women and men, join the ranks of the risk takers and event shakers? The first step is to ask yourself how you may be feeling stuck and then get moving.
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susanspeaks-com
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Susan C. Young |
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To cultivate bravery and courage, start small. Taking small, consistent steps for calculated risks will help you test your footing. Once you begin enjoying mini-victories, you will be able to build upon your small successes to escalate momentum and strengthen your courage to take bigger ones.
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Susan C. Young |
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"To cultivate bravery and courage, may the Force be with you. Whether you fortify yourself with a positive mental attitude, affirmations, faith in God, prayer, and meditation, or an innate sense of personal destiny, you have the power to summon your courage and be brave. "Make it so, Number One!"
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Susan C. Young |
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Trust and rapport are essential for moving a positive first impression forward to create a meaningful and lasting connection. They are the heartbeat of business, the backbone for high performing teams, and the secret sauce for healthy relationships.
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Susan C. Young |
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I, however, typically trust people until they prove me wrong. As an energy-sensitive person with a highly intuitive nature, I pick up on clues as to whom I can trust or should be wary of. I will take my chances and continue living with my heart wide-open. Having faith in humanity and expecting the best from others improves my happiness and well-being.
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Susan C. Young |
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What are those behaviors that make us take pause to think twice about a person's trustworthiness? Guarded body language, lack of eye contact, nervous fidgeting, interrupting, speaking ill of others, lying, arrogance, and gossip to name a few.
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Susan C. Young |
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Trust and rapport are listed in that order because without first building trust, healthy rapport is not possible.
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Susan C. Young |
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We all know that person--the one who wakes up on the right side of the bed; the one who surely consumed a bowl of sunshine for breakfast; the one who asks how you're doing and means it. How do they emanate that much light? How can we also appear more friendly and personable? How can we be that light for others?
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Susan C. Young |
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"Is it possible to be friendly and engaging every day? Of course not. Everyone has their moments. I once read a quote from an anonymous author who said, "It's okay to have a bad day-- just don't unpack and live there." I love that. As an example, imagine waking up and stubbing your toe as you get out of bed. You can respond in one of two ways. You can allow it to start your day off on the wrong foot and go through the rest of your day in a bad mood--souring everything and everyone in your path. OR . . . you can say, "Oh great--sh*t happens, the day's got to get better from here!" Then set your intention to look for the good things that head your way for the rest of the day. You have the power to pick."
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Susan C. Young |
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If you want to impress someone with how much you know, the best thing you can do is talk to them about . . . them. People typically love to share their stories and are delighted when others show genuine interest in hearing about: their families, what they do for fun, their opinions, where they are going on vacation, their happiest memories, their hobbies, or even where they grew up.
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Susan C. Young |
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When you are genuinely interested, your authenticity reveals itself in your body language, attitude, facial gestures, eye contact, and overall responsiveness.
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Susan C. Young |
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"Years ago, my mentor, Mary Seals and I shared a mutual acquaintance who was successful in sales, but had a questionable reputation. I told her, "I really like him, but I can't trust him as far as I can throw him." Mary bluntly replied, "Susan, if I can't trust someone, I don't like or respect them. Her comment caused me to reconsider always giving people the benefit of a doubt and to instead be wary when someone demonstrates a lack of integrity."
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Susan C. Young |
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"Animation. Enthusiasm. Sincerity. Excitement. Acceptance. Have I just described your family dog? You're happy to see him because he is so happy to see you. It is no wonder dogs are called "Man's Best Friend" with attributes like that. Their natural propensity for joy makes them among the most personable and friendly creatures on the planet. Human beings could learn a thing or two from their eager and earnest approach to life."
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Susan C. Young |
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People who exude these qualities are treasures indeed--not only to the friends they make and strangers they meet, but to the companies who employ them.
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Susan C. Young |
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Think about the impact you have on the people around you every day. How do you interact with them? Is your presence uplifting or are do you bring a dark cloud?
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Susan C. Young |
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Ask any person trained in sign language and they will confirm the fact that you can talk with your hands. Your hand gestures communicate for you and are an integral part of your language. While some people may come by hand gestures naturally, you can learn to be even more expressive to get your points across--and to be memorable.
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communication-skills
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law-of-attraction-quotes
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posture-quotes
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relationship-quotes
susanspeaks-com
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Susan C. Young |
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"Smiling reduces blood pressure by lowering the stress-inducing hormones, such as adrenaline and cortisol. As my mother, who is now in her eighties, navigates the challenges of aging, her mantra has become, "Keep moving and keep smiling." She has observed the rapid decline of her friends who haven't. She is striving to stay strong, happy, and vital; her desire to smile is helping her to live a healthier, more satisfying, and longer life."
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body-language-quotes
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law-of-attraction-quotes
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quotes-by-susan-c-young
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susanspeaks-com
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Susan C. Young |
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You would be surprised how even the simplest of smiles can ease a social situation, encourage another, remove barriers, and dissolve differences. It is not only a gift to the recipient, but you will receive affirming returns on your investment.
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communication-skills
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susanspeaks-com
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Susan C. Young |
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It has been said that poise is our highest state of consciousness. It reflects your presence, composure, balance, gratitude, discretion, and self-respect. Whether a man or a woman, a poised person carries within themselves an elegant air of dignity and grace. Their personal brand is polished and purposeful.
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law-of-attraction-quotes
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posture-quotes
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susanspeaks-com
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Susan C. Young |
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"To Disclose or Not Disclose I just saw a poster: "Dirty laundry goes here (laundry basket) not here (Facebook logo)." Online and in person, withholding personal information is a discreet way of regulating what people learn, think, and know about you. There are times when keeping it real and keeping it honest will reveal your authenticity and trustworthiness, but there are other times, however, when things are better left unsaid or locked away. Hence the term TMI, meaning "Too Much Information!" Discretion is part of "keeping it real" in professional (and self) respect."
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Susan C. Young |
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Be fiercely curious about who they are, what they do, what they like, and what they need. If you pay attention to them, they will pay attention to you.
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Susan C. Young |
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Trust and rapport are the connective tissue for gaining and maintaining healthy relationships. They provide people with the comfort and reassurance that they are doing business with an organization who cares.
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Susan C. Young |
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You are the only one who can determine what feels right to you. Before baring your soul to the world and telling it all, consider a few scenarios which deserve your discretion. * Does your date really need to hear what a jerk your ex was and why your marriage ended? * Will disclosing details of your childhood betray the people who love you the most? * Will disclosing your health history create unfair bias? * Will revealing the dysfunctions of your last team help you get that new job or improve the new team? * Will telling someone how you screwed up alienate their affection or friendship? * Will exerting your opinion alienate others and make them avoid you? * Will talking smack about your competitor build consumer confidence?
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Susan C. Young |
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communication skills, quotes by Susan C Young, relationship quotes, trust, speaker Susan Young, first impressions quotes, best motivational speakers, best keynote speakers, curiosity and being interested, customer service quotes
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best-motivational-speakers
communication-skills
curiosity-and-being-interested
customer-service-quotes
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trust
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Susan C. Young |
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When trust is broken, foundational cracks occur which weaken the entire relationship. As with concrete, no amount of filling and patching you apply with the hope of fortifying the fracture will ever repair the weakness caused by the rift.
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Susan C. Young |
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Take steps to be humble, sincere, and authentic, and apologize if necessary. If a relationship is valuable to you, it is worth your concern and effort to make it right.
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Susan C. Young |
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As you rock rapport, you will open doors, earn loyalty, establish long-term relationships, and promote mutually respectful interaction. How can you break the ice and move toward creating a positive connection?
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Susan C. Young |
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For leaders, trust can make all the difference in the viability of their teams. When there is mistrust or low connectivity, teams can falter and fight--making productivity and profitability suffer.
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Susan C. Young |
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How Can You Show You Are Interested? * Pay close attention. * Ask how you can help. * Ask probing questions. * Practice great listening. * Invite people to participate. * Express curiosity without judgment. * Find a way to help others achieve their goals. * Keep your mind open to innovative ideas. * Make introductions and connect like-minded people. * Get to know people first before talking about yourself. * Consider how and why they feel/think/believe as they do.
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Susan C. Young |
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When we trust someone or something, we place our faith and confidence in their word, reliability, and deeds. Without trust and rapport, a relationship can be cut short before it ever gets started.
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Susan C. Young |
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People consider trust differently. Some approach a new relationship with a degree of skepticism and want the other person to earn their trust before it is freely given. Their reluctance is often influenced by a previous experience when they were hurt, betrayed, or let down by others.
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Susan C. Young |
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11 Tips for Building Rapport 1. Adapt to the other person's energy level. 2. Assume rapport. 3. Be open and friendly. 4. Exude warmth and approachability. 5. Find common ground or mutual agreement. 6. Keep your commitments and always follow through. 7. Make eye contact. 8. Soften your voice, your smile, and your eye contact to convey openness and interest. 9. Match and mirror a person's gestures and body language. 10. Pay attention. 11. Validate the other person by asking questions and showing sincere interest in their answers.
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Susan C. Young |
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The Gift that Keeps on Giving I once had a lovely real estate client named Jane who was an elderly lady living alone. Her sons lived far away in the Pacific Northwest and she rarely saw them. I became her Realtor when she decided she needed to down-size from her larger home and buy a smaller one. Throughout this transition, we would talk, laugh, share, and bond. After we successfully completed her transactions and got her comfortably situated in her new home, I stayed in touch to nurture our friendship. Over a year later, I got a call from her son in Seattle who was calling to inform me that his mother had passed away. And at the reading of her will it was revealed she had requested that when it the time came to sell the property in her estate, they were to call Susan Young. By making her feel special and important, I earned not only her friendship, but her loyalty and continued business.
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Susan C. Young |
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It can be a mean world; sadly, there is no shortage of rude people. Throughout my travels, I pleasantly discovered that if you are friendly to others, they will usually mirror the same in return. Regardless of which cities or countries I visit, the majority of people I encounter tend to be friendly, personable, and caring.
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Susan C. Young |
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Most people want, need, and respond positively to gestures of kindness and goodness. This universal friendliness connects humanity.
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Susan C. Young |
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By taking a personal interest in other people's lives, you are demonstrating selflessness, grace, and respect.
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Susan C. Young |
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ASK YOURSELF: Your closest friends want to know all about the details of your life and want to hear what is happening in your life. How can you be that type of person for others?
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If you truly want to impress someone, remember points they shared in previous conversations and mention it when you reconnect.
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Susan C. Young |
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When you ask people about themselves, are you just being polite or do you truly want to know? When you focus your intention and questions on them, it makes them feel special and valued. However, if you don't sincerely want to know, it can backfire as appearing insincere.
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Susan C. Young |
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"Encouraging quality communication will make it easier for you to establish rapport, gather information, and increase understanding. You can use this "fishing" technique for personal relationships, social events, sales calls, and professional correspondence."
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"A closed-ended question, however, is one which could be answered with a one-word answer or a simple "yes" or "no." It can bring a dynamic dialogue to an awkward halt or stalemate. You can easily flip the encounter around by making a little more effort."
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Susan C. Young |
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When you sincerely want to connect on deeper levels and encourage other people to talk about themselves, use open-ended questions to stimulate your conversation and get the ball rolling.
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Susan C. Young |
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Socrates would teach his pupils by asking them intelligent and probing questions. By using their critical thinking skills and problem-solving abilities, they could discover the answers for themselves and retain their lessons longer. By using this same approach for Socratic Selling or Socratic Communication, there is no telling how much you might teach and solve for another person, all the while creating a memorable encounter.
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Susan C. Young |
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So, how can you move beyond awkward silence with virtual strangers to becoming new friends? By asking great questions! Once a few inquiring questions were placed, I would let them do all the talking.
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Susan C. Young |
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Once you start looking, you will discover unlimited links and openers for nurturing camaraderie. Do you drive the same car? Did you attend the same college? Do you both write with your left hand? Love vacationing in Paris? Prefer sushi over pasta? Both have twins? Attend the same church? Each run marathons? Enjoy the same television shows? Have the same breed of dog? While downright basic, these shared commonalities can often bring a sense of familiarity and affection even for people whom you have never met.
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Susan C. Young |
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I recently heard of a real estate professional who LOVES to cook. So, her niche market? Foodies. She attends local restaurant events and cooking classes and turns strangers into friends and clients. Her closing gift to new homeowners? A recipe box. Then she sends new recipe postcards every month to tuck inside. Isn't that a smart way to stay connected in a meaningful way?
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Susan C. Young |
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In our high-tech world today, there are unlimited ways with which you can search for people, places, and events to connect you with like-minded people. Food enthusiasts? There are local cooking classes. Gardening fans? There are flower shows and garden expos. Kids in school? Join the PTA and get involved. There are clubs and groups for almost any interest these days and venturing out to make those connections is a powerful way to expand your insights, your network, and even your business.
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Susan C. Young |
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"Tell me about yourself" is one of the best icebreakers and conversation openers you can have. Learn to ask questions using this phrase as the guide. Let the other person do the talking and they will think you are the most delightful conversationalist they have ever met. When you make the effort to do this for others, they feel relevant and valued."
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"11 Benefits of Asking Questions "The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existing." - Albert Einstein 1. Builds rapport. 2. Nurtures creativity. 3. Grows your knowledge and awareness. 4. Exercises critical thinking and problem-solving skills. 5. Makes the other person feel valued. 6. Helps you make thoughtful decisions. 7. The better our questions, the better our answers. 8. Keeps you agile and open to new ideas. 9. Improves your memory and retention. 10. Helps you stay informed and relevant. 11. Enables you to discover a new world of possibilities you would not have known otherwise." --
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Susan C. Young |
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Finding commonality with another person can help you create an instant bond by transcending social differences and going straight to creating rapport. Finding common ground allows you to connect the dots in the big picture to discover what feels most comfortable, how to connect, and where you might fit in when meeting new people.
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Susan C. Young |
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When people are like you, conversations flow naturally and feel more relaxed, don't they? You know what to say, how to talk, what to expect, and how to understand them on an intuitive level.
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Susan C. Young |
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Wouldn't it be wonderful to enjoy this level of simplicity in all relationships, regardless of differences? You can. Begin taking the initiative to find common ground with others and you will soon lay solid foundations on which to build great first impressions.
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"The romantic notion of "opposites attract" works well in fairy tales. However, science proves that "like attracts like" for healthy communication and successful relationships. Social psychologists have long relied upon the "Similarity Attraction Theory" to explain why we are more positively inclined toward people who are the most like ourselves. Similarity reduces uncertainty and gives us a comforting degree of psychological safety. It is no wonder, then, that "birds of a feather flock together." Our tribe understands our vibe."
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Establishing social certainty helps you build trust, develop rapport, and strengthen your connection. However, the right questions might lead you to find a niche of commonality in someone who is very different from you. It can be professionally and personally rewarding.
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Susan C. Young |
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"Along with the "Law of Attraction" there is also an "Attractor Factor" for easily building camaraderie and commonality for making a positive first impression. Seek to find: 1. Shared History 2. Shared Stories 3. Shared Interests 4. Shared Attitudes 5. Shared Experiences 6. Shared Beliefs and Values"
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Identifying, developing, and connecting on these points of reference will provide you with a rich resource of information from which to engage in stimulating conversations and connect on meaningful levels.
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Susan C. Young |
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"This insightful quote I once heard stays with me: "Tell me what gives you your sense of importance and I will tell you what you are. That is the most important thing about you. That is what determines your character." Some people get their sense of importance through their charitable works and community service. Some get it through the diplomas on their walls and the letters behind their names, while others may get their sense of importance from the cars they drive, the balance in their bank accounts, or the size of their homes. Different strokes for different folks. Regardless of what their motivators may be, notice what a person's hot button is and you will have the key to nurturing your new relationship in a positive way."
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Susan C. Young |
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Being brave is not for the light-hearted. Bravery takes fortitude--the very act of bravery prevents anyone from knowing you were ever afraid in the first place.
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13 Ways to Make Other People Feel Important 1. Ask people questions about themselves, their interests, their families, their passions and their lives. 2. Catch people doing things right, pat them on the back, and acknowledge them for a job well done. 3. Celebrate their successes. 4. Be lavish in your compliments and sincere in your praise. 5. Be appreciative and say thank you. 6. Listen with genuine interest. 7. Respect their opinions. 8. Encourage people with words of affirmation and validation. 9. Brag about people behind (and in front of) their backs. 10. Make the time and space to be fully present and engaged. 11. Spend quality time together. 12. Share your authentic self and be real. 13. Offer comfort and compassion.
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Susan C. Young |
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"Every time a new client hires me for a keynote, workshop, or coaching session, the first questions I ask them are, "What are the 3 top challenges your organization is dealing with? What are your goals? What problems would you like for me to help solve?" Using their own answers, I am able to design a program that is customized specifically around their needs. It takes the focus off of Susan and centers my complete attention toward making them feel important."
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Susan C. Young |
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Find Your Funny Bone . . . Life provides plenty of material for things for you to laugh at. Seek irony, coincidence, and the abundance of simple humor in life's little absurdities.
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Check Your Ego at the Door. A big part of creating valuable, long-term connections requires setting your ego aside. For some, it's a struggle to not be the center of attention, of the conversation, or of the universe! People feel more valued, respected, and connected when they feel seen and heard. And that's hard to do if it's always all about you. Once you get into the practice of connecting and communicating with people in a way that draws them to you, conversations will be more engaging, and the end result is much more rewarding.
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Susan C. Young |
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Considerations & Exceptions for Impressive Handshakes * Be mindful of a person's age; be tender with arthritic hands. In that case, a loose and gentler handshake is a gesture of sensitivity and compassion. * Show interest; even if your right hand is full, offer your left hand. * Demonstrate respect when you are caught in an introduction while seated; try to stand. * Be instinctive about when to allow the length of your handshake to linger to express unity, connection, or sympathy.
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"All hugs are not created equal. Some people are naturally gifted in showering others with warmth and affection. They can hug with such a sincere intention it transcends a handshake. Their hugs feel genuine, non-threatening, and are emotionally consistent with the relationship they share with the "hugee."
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Hugging is quite an intimate contact. Considering the studies done on proxemics we looked at earlier; when you get within two feet of another person you are inside their intimate space. There are some people who truly do not want you in their 'bubble' unless you are close friends or they've given you permission. Assuming familiarity incorrectly can destroy rapport, make a bad impression, and risk everything you have done well up to then.
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"Approachability. Being warm and inviting demonstrates comfort, care, and emotional safety all of which encourages engagement. Your openness says, "I'm happy to meet you and am glad you're here."
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The next time you have a high-stakes meeting, a presentation, or an important social engagement, practice power posing beforehand to potently and powerfully impact your confidence.
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Poor Posture Promotes . . . In addition to sabotaging people's perceptions and impressions of you, poor posture can cause uncomfortable health issues: * Fatigue * Discomfort * Neck and back pain * Muscle imbalance * Headaches and body aches * Structural changes to your body
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Gestures and the Signals They Send * Rubbing your face, palms, and neck may signify anxiety and stress. * Arms crossed with clenched fists may signify hostility, anger, and impatience. * Arms crossed with each hand gripping other arm may signify insecurity and self-doubt. * Arms crossed with thumbs up may signify interest and engagement. * Or my favorite--arms crossed may signify that you are simply cold! * Fidgeting and squirming may signify that you are lying, afraid of being found out, insecure, or uncomfortable. * Standing with your hands behind your back may signify power and superiority.
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When you are sitting behind a desk with a person on the other side, there is a barrier between you that becomes a psychological and subliminal message. Some of the best leaders I know have a round table or a circle of chairs in their offices so that when people come in to speak with them, the arrangement lends itself to more engaging interaction. Using a roundtable in which there is no head fosters collaboration, cooperation, mutual respect, and equal positioning.
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When having lunch or dinner at a long rectangular table, I prefer to take a middle chair so that I can turn to my left or to my right to make meaningful conversation with the people in attendance. When I have been seated at the very end, it can prove to be difficult to speak, hear, and connect with everyone there. Think ahead, and whenever possible, put yourself in the middle of the action!
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The dictionary defines discretion as the quality of showing discernment, the ability to make responsible decisions, and behaving or speaking in such a way as to avoid causing offense to others or revealing private information. Doing what is right is not always easy and can require uncommon courage. Be brave my friends, living right is its own reward.
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Mirroring is especially helpful when our differences may divide. Think of the times when you have made a diligent effort to speak in another person's native language to communicate and connect with comfort. By doing this, you are extending a considerate courtesy to meet them where they are, thus removing barriers and improving engagement.
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Coordinating your gestures with someone's subtle behaviors, can help you gain understanding, realize comfortable compatibility, and develop mutual trust.
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By mirroring, speaking, and moving in tandem with my clients, I provided them with a sense of familiar comfort and ease which helped us work well together. When they leaned forward, I would lean forward. When they crossed their arms, I would cross my arms. When they began speaking slowly and quietly, I would do the same. These subtle actions help to us to communicate more effectively.
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The variety of political positions shared on Facebook in the 2016 Presidential Election was both entertaining and, sadly, destructive. I observed friends of a lifetime divide into different camps and sacrifice their friendships through argument and debate. As an avid reader and political junkie, I had to hold myself back from expressing my opinions or presenting factual evidence which would obliterate others' claims. Why would I jump into the fray? All it would do is hurt the friendship. Rarely does arguing political positions change an opinion or belief.
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Be Personable & Friendly. People who are genuinely warm and sincerely kind are easy to talk to, easy to like and bring a positive vibe to new encounters and social situations.
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Susan C. Young |
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A genuine smile is inviting, contagious, encouraging, and brings joy into the world. It instantly tells others that you are glad to see them, that they are important and you are approachable.
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Susan C. Young |
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Companies that do not have a succession plan in place in which their seasoned professionals are teaching the younger, less experienced generations risk losing far more than talent. The depth of their experience is a valuable commodity and resource.
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"Top sales professionals will confirm that nurturing their "sphere of influence" is essential to their success. When trust and rapport are well cultivated, it can yield tremendous bottom-line results."
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When a leader nurtures an environment of trust, respect, and honesty--business soars, creativity and problem-solving are inspired, and collaboration enables people get more done in less time.
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Susan C. Young |
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Early in my sales career, various sales trainers taught our teams how to use matching and mirroring to build rapport and earn trust with our clients. When done well, it would inevitably help us improve customer service and closing ratios. It was not encouraged as a deceptive sales practice to manipulate, but rather a subtle way to make a great first impression and connect on a meaningful level.
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ASK YOURSELF: Are your facial expressions in alignment with your true personality? Are they working on your behalf to project the best impression possible?
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Susan C. Young |
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This method enabled me to expand my territory and create a strong network of loyal customers for referrals and repeat business. Make active listening a deliberate part of your business plan and success strategy. You will not only grow your business, but also make wonderful friends along the way.
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