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688167f "But have you noticed the slight curl at the end of Sam II's mouth, when he looks at you? It means that he didn't want you to name him Sam II, for one thing, and for two other things it means that he has a sawed-off in his left pants leg, and a baling hook in his right pants leg, and is ready to kill you with either of them, given the opportunity. The father is taken aback. What he usually says, in such a confrontation, is "I changed your diapers for you, little snot." This is not the right thing to say. First, it is not true (mothers change nine diapers out of ten), and second it reminds Sam II of what he is mad about. He is mad about being small when you were big, but no, that's not it, he is mad about being helpless when you were powerful, but no, not that either, he is mad about being contingent when you were necessary, not quite it, he is insane because when he loved you, you didn't notice." relationships Donald Barthelme
c8996a3 Because, Jack, you volunteered to be taken down into eternal torment in place of her. This is the absolute (unless I'm mistaken) that any female requires from her man. relationships women Neal Stephenson
b246b9a Such journeys have convinced me that it is not always possible to restore one's boundaries after they have been blurred and made permeable by a relationship: try as we might, we cannot reconstitute ourselves as the autonomous beings we previously imagined ourselves to be. relationships self Mohsin Hamid
0c9a195 I think she cared more for that bloody dog than for me, for us. And maybe that's not so stupid, looking back... maybe it is easier living on your own looking after some stupid mutt than sharing your life with other actual human beings. dogs relationships Mark Haddon
3a2eac3 "Nodding, Parker ate. "He's an exceptional kisser." "He really is. He . . . How do you know?" When Parker just smiled, Emma's jaw dropped. "You? You and Jack? When? How?" "I think it's disgusting," Mac muttered. "Yet another best pal moving on my imaginary ex." "Two kisses, my first year at Yale, after we ran into each other at a party and he walked me back to the dorm. It was nice. Very nice. But as exceptional a kisser as he is, it was too much like kissing my brother. And as exceptional a kisser as I am, I believe he felt it was too much like kissing his sister. And that's how we left it. I gather that wasn't an issue for you and Jack." kissing relationships Nora Roberts
feaa0c4 As they embrace, she kisses him full on the mouth. And suddenly sticks her tongue right in. She has done this before, often. It's one of those drunken long shots which just might, at least theoretically, once in ten thousand tries, throw a relationship right out of its orbit and send it whizzing off on another. Do women ever stop trying? No. But, because they never stop, they learn to be good losers. losing relationships women Christopher Isherwood
e8e4414 The clerk is looking at me. His expression hasn't changed. What I want to do is punch a hole in the front of the desk, reach through, grab his balls, and make him sing The Mickey Mouse Club song. But these days, I'm working on the theory that killing everyone I don't like might be counterproductive. I'm learning to use my indoor voice like a big boy, so I smile back at the clerk. relationships social Richard Kadrey
146da9f Things certainly aren't the way you imagine them when you're a kid and dreaming big dreams about what your life as a grown-up will look like. life marriage relationships Emily Giffin
50b7501 "Then, whenever I feel the sun on my face, I will think of you, " I told him. "You will always be with me, Bill. Because of all I have felt for you, and all I have learned from you." friendship relationships william-maxwell Cornelia Maude Spelman
e41b169 He had known so much about her once -what she thought, how she felt, the reasons for her actions. And now he only knew that he loved her, and all the other knowledge seemed passing from him just as he needed it most. relationships E.M. Forster
a42076a The feeling is that we have everything to say. And where do you begin with everything? love relationships stephanie-perkins truth Stephanie Perkins
58b11e9 "North is a powerful man, and you're still connected to him." Flo frowned. "Probably sexual memory, those Capricorns are insatiable. Well, you know. Sea Goat. And of course, you're a Fish. You'll end up back in bed with him." Andie slammed the car door. "You know what I'd like for Christmas, Flo? Boundaries. You can gift me early if you'd like." mothers-and-daughters relationships sex Jennifer Crusie
a123a38 There are no commitments, only bargains. And they have to be made again every day. You think making a commitment is it. Finish. You think it sets like a concrete platform and it'll take any strain you want to put on it. You're committed. You don't have to prove anything. In fact you can afford a little neglect, indulge in a little bit of sarcasm here and there, isolate yourself when you want to. Underneath it's concrete for life. I'm a cow in some ways, but you're an idiot. communication relationships Tom Stoppard
ef0be0d oh he loves her, just as the English loved India & Africa & Ireland; it is the love that is the problem, people treat their lovers badly. but maybe it is just the scenery that is wrong. maybe nothing that happens on stolen ground can expect a happy ending. relationships unfaithfulness Zadie Smith
9b43fe4 You're my equal. And as much as that means we have each other's backs in public, it also means we that grant each other the gift of honesty - of truth. honesty partnership relationships truth Sarah J. Maas
0c6d2dc So she stood naked in front of the young man and at this moment stopped playing the game. relationships sex Milan Kundera
2d6813a I can only think how good life on earth can be, at times. What grief two people can give to one another! And what pleasure! intimacy relationships Hanif Kureishi
8390576 That's the catch about betrayal, of course: that it feels good, that there's something immensely pleasurable about moving from a complicated relationship which involves minor atrocities on both sides to a nice, neat, simple one where one person has done something so horrible and unforgivable that the other person is immediately absolved of all the low-grade sins of sloth, envy, gluttony, avarice and I forget the other three. relationships Nora Ephron
c3e8a6a There don't have to be first dates and second dates. We're not normal. We can do this anyway you want. A relationship can be whatever you want it to be. We get to make this part up. We get to tell our own story. love relationships Holly Black
893a67d Miles was still mourning the loss of his Romantic Plan. 'There was going to be champagne, and oysters, and you' -- he held out both hands as though shifting a piece of furniture -- 'were going to be sitting there, and I was going to get down on one knee, and...and... miles-is-awesome relationships romance Lauren Willig
49bebe1 Nothing strong can be built on a foundation of lies and omissions. relationships Isabel Allende
a9a4b30 I want someone who will love me and touch me and understand me and let me take care of them, but beyond that, I don't know. love marriage relationships Jonathan Tropper
f31f945 I'm sick of this. It's like being twelve again, dealing with all this damned drama. corey drama kelley-armstrong relationships the-rising Kelley Armstrong
9aec005 The trouble is, I can't find a part of myself where you're not important. I write in order to be worth your while and to finance the way I want to live with you. Not the way you want to live. The way I want to live with you. Without you I wouldn't care. I'd eat tinned spaghetti and put on yesterday's clothes. But as it is I change my socks, and make money, and tart up Brodie's unspeakable drivel into speakable drivel so he can be an author too, like me. relationships Tom Stoppard
6e64343 Intimacy between people requires closeness as well as distance. It is like dancing. Sometimes we are very close, touching each other or holding each other; sometimes we move away from each other and let the space between us become an area where we can freely move. To keep the right balance between closeness and distance requires hard work, especially since the needs of the partners may be quite different at a given moment. One might desire closeness while the other wants distance. One might want to be held while the other looks for independence. A perfect balance seldom occurs, but the honest and open search for that balance can give birth to a beautiful dance, worthy to behold. intimacy relationships solitude vulnerability Henri J.M. Nouwen
9a1277d We walk through so many myths of each other and ourselves; we are so thankful when someone sees us for who we are and accepts us. gratitude love perception relationships Natalie Goldberg
bc37776 Maybe it's important to open up I people- people who are right there with you, not some thousand miles away in another universe. Or maybe it's something else. Maybe I should just settle for not knowing. Maybe it's just good to know that you're not the only one who doesn't know. inspirational life relationships Bryan Lee O'Malley
ff16499 You can't be another person's honesty, child, but you can be your own. love relationships Jeanette Winterson
e9a965e Hermione,' said Hagrid. 'What about her?' said Ron. 'She's in a righ' state, that's what. She's bin comin' down ter visit me a lot since Chris'mas. Bin feelin' lonely. Firs' yeh weren' talking to her because o' the Firebolt, now yer not talkin' to her because her cat--' '--ate Scabbers!' Ron interjected angrily. 'Because her cat acted like all cats do,' Hagrid continued doggedly. 'She's cried a fair few times, yeh know. Goin' through a rough time at the moment. Bitten off more'n she can chew, if yeh ask me, all the work she's tryin' ter do. Still found time ter help me with Buckbeak's case, mind.... She's found some really good stuff fer me...reckon he'll stand a good chance now...' 'Hagrid, we should've helped as well--sorry--' Harry began awkwardly. 'I'm not blamin' yeh!' said Hagrid, waving Harry's apology aside. 'Gawd knows yeh've had enough ter be gettin' on with. I've seen yeh practicin' Quidditch ev'ry hour o' the day an' night--but I gotta tell yeh, I thought you two'd value yer friend more'n broomsticks or rats. Tha's all.' Harry and Ron exchanged uncomfortable looks. 'Really upset, she was, when Black nearly stabbed yeh, Ron. She's got her heart in the right place, Hermione has, an' you two not talkin' to her-- hermione-granger relationships struggles J.K. Rowling
958189b "Finally he turned his head toward her face and brushed a kiss over her cheek. "I love you and I believe with all my heart that you love me as well. Why can't you say it, Hero?" relationships tormented Elizabeth Hoyt
0f1abc3 She would be quiet at first. Then she would say a word about something small, something she had noticed, and then another word, and another, each one flung out like a little piece of sand, one from this direction, another form behind, more and more, until his looks, his character, his soul would have eroded away . . . I was afraid that some unseen speck of truth would fly into my eye, blur what I was seeing and transform him from the divine man I thought he was into someone quite mundane, mortally wounded with tiresome habits and irritating imperfections. relationships Amy Tan
8f7ee65 You are a door to an existence she does not desire, but even if the room beyond is repugnant, that door has won a portion of her affection. desire love relationships Mohsin Hamid
ae51bb2 Next was Alice. I gave her a book by Anne Rice because she is always talking about her. And she looked at me like she couldn't believe I knew she loved Anne Rice. I guess she didn't know how much she talked or how much I listen. relationships Stephen Chbosky
ba0520d What a thing to acknowledge in your heart! To lose a brother is to lose someone with whom you can share the experience of growing old, who is supposed to bring you a sister-in-law and nieces and nephews, creatures to people the tree of your life and give it new branches. To lose your father is to lose the one whose guidance and help you seek, who supports you like a tree trunk supports its branches. To lose your mother, well, that is like losing the sun above you. It is like losing-I'm sorry, I would rather not go on. death-of-a-loved-one family relationships Yann Martel
8dd27c8 Argumentation is a human enterprise that is embedded in a larger social and psychological context. This context includes (1) the total psyches of the two persons engaged in dialogue, (2) the relationship between the two persons, (3) the immediate situation in which they find themselves and (4) the larger social, cultural and historical situation surrounding them. culture dialogue psychology relationships sociology Peter Kreeft
af1b239 It's so evident to me now that just because someone is a great guy doesn't guarantee we'll make a great couple, no matter how much I work at it and want it. relationships Daria Snadowsky
3353816 It was no coincidence, that fear could move a person to extremes, just as seamlessly as love. They were the conjoined twins of emotion: If you didn't know what was at stake to lose, you had nothing to fight for. loss love rape relationships survivor trauma Jodi Picoult
24067ff The fact is unalterable, that a fellow-mortal with whose nature you are acquainted solely through the brief entrances and exits of a few imaginative weeks called courtship, may, when seen in the continuity of married companionship, be disclosed as something better or worse than what you have preconceived, but will certainly not appear altogether the same. marriage relationships George Eliot
b00c2eb Why are poets so apt to choose their mates, not for any similarity of poetic endowment, but for qualities which might make the happiness of the rudest handicraftsman as well as that of the ideal craftsman of the spirit? Because, probably, at his highest elevation, the poet needs no human intercourse; but he finds it dreary to descend, and be a stranger. intellectualism relationships Nathaniel Hawthorne
fff95df All relationships have ups and downs. Romantic fantasy often nurtures the belief that difficulties and down times are an indication of a lack of love rather than part of the process. In actuality, true love thrives of the difficulties. The foundation of such love is the assumption that we want to grow and expand, to become more fully ourselves. There is no change that does not bring with it a feeling of challenge and loss. When we experience true love it may feel as though our lives are in danger; we may feel threatened. disputes fighting growth growth-process love love-quotes relationships true-love bell hooks
128a0e4 The only thing she really enjoyed was a funeral. You knew where you were with a corpse. Nothing more could happen to it. But while there was life there was fear. life relationships L.M. Montgomery
9ea8009 The last thing she'd wanted was anything as complicated as a relationship, for it felt as though there we're though complication in her life already. love relationship relationships Nicholas Sparks
b68726f "While the primary function of formal Buddhist meditation is to create the possibility of the experience of "being," my work as a therapist has shown me that the demands of intimate life can be just as useful as meditation in moving people toward this capacity. Just as in formal meditation, intimate relationships teach us that the more we relate to each other as objects, the greater our disappointment. The trick, as in meditation, is to use this disappointment to change the way we relate." desire disappointment meditation objectification relationships Mark Epstein
fdbfa04 It's hard to experience desire when you're weighted down by concern. desire relationships Esther Perel
4bc6335 The teaching of the sexual tantras all come down to one point. Although desire, of whatever shape or form, seeks completion, there is another kind of union than the one we imagine. In this union, achieved when the egocentric model of dualistic thinking is no longer dominant, we are not united with it, nor am I united with you, but we all just are. The movement from object to subject, as described in both Eastern meditation and modern psychotherapy, is training for this union, but its perception usually comes as a surprise, even when this shift is well under way. It is a kind of grace. The emphasis on sexual relations in the tantric teachings make it clear that the ecstatic surprise of orgasm is the best approximation of this grace. desire dualistic-thinking grace meditation objectification relationships tantra Mark Epstein
113c41a I can only do what's easy. I can only entice and be enticed. I can't, and won't, attempt difficult relations. If I marry it will either be a man who's strong enough to boss me or whom I'm strong enough to boss. So I shan't ever marry, for there aren't such men. And Heaven help any one whom I do marry, for I shall certainly run away from him before you can say 'Jack Robinson. relationships E.M. Forster
537177f People don't know. We don't know ourselves so we tell ourselves what we really know is other people. We could say the depth of pain we feel for the lovers who've left us is because we knew them so well. life love pain relationships Emma Forrest
f70b9d1 They can talk shit about each other behind the others' backs, but when it comes down to it, money is the one true race and everyone down here is the color of greenbacks and as tall as mountains. greed money pride relationships society Richard Kadrey
bfb979f ...workplace dynamics are no less complicated or unexpectedly intense than family relations, with only the added difficulty that whereas families are at least well-recognised and sanctioned loci for hysteria reminiscent of scenes from Medea, office life typically proceeds behind a mask of shallow cheerfulness, leaving workers grievously unprepared to handle the fury and sadness continually aroused by their colleagues. emotions families relationships work workplace Alain de Botton
be93517 The thing about her is, she's good-natured. He knew it the second he saw her standing by the parking meters. He could just tell from the soft way her belly looked. With women, you keep bumping against them, because they want different things, they're a different race. Either they give, like a plant, or scrape, like a stone. In all the green world nothing feels as good as a woman's good nature. relationships women John Updike
d586bd2 The time to read Madame Bovary is when your romantic hopes and desires have crashed, and you will believe that your future relationships will have disappointing - even devastating - consequences. relationships John Irving
7a83c7c I'd been at the mercy of a prick on a power trip, the kind of buttoned-up bantam rooster who gets off on control and then, when you resist him, tells you that you've got issues with control. fools idiocy jerks men power relationships society women women-and-men Norah Vincent
15a05cb When does one ever know a human being? Perhaps only after one has realized the impossibility of knowledge and renounced the desire for it and finally ceased to feel even the need of it. But then what one achieves is no longer knowledge, it is simply a kind of co-existence; and this too is one of the guises of love. life love relationships Iris Murdoch
7eda08b One should not believe too easily in a life which can easily vanish. life love relationships James Salter
656b829 Yet she said to herself, from the dawn of time odes have been sung to love; wreathes heaped and roses; and if you asked nine people out of ten they would say they wanted nothing but this; while the women, judging from her own experience, would all the time be feeling, This is not what we want; there is nothing more tedious, puerile and inhumane than love; yet it is also absolutely beautiful and necessary. life love modernism relationships to-the-lighthouse virginia-woolf Virginia Woolf
875d05b "Because conflict-avoidant Emily would never "bite" or even hiss unless Greg had done something truly horrible, on some level she processes his bite to mean that she's terribly guilty--of something, anything, who knows what?" conflict relationships Susan Cain
5871a83 I had the fleeting thought then that we are each of us pathetic in one way or another, and the trick is to marry a person whose patheticness you can tolerate. relationships Curtis Sittenfeld
a7c95c1 Lord, I pray that my husband will be strong in the Lord and put on the whole armor of God, so he can stand against the enemy every day. Enable him to take up the shield of faith, helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the Word of God. enemy husband prayer praying relationships shield wife Stormie Omartian
50d69a4 (On differences between men and boys) Men know what they want. Men make concrete plans. Men own alarm clocks. Men sleep on a mattress that isn't on the floor. Men tip generously. Men buy new shampoo instead of adding water to a nearly empty bottle of shampoo. Men go to the dentist. Men make reservations. Men go in for a kiss without giving you some long preamble about how they're thinking of kissing you. Men wear clothes that have never been worn by anyone else before. men relationships Mindy Kaling
f842eb9 Getting in touch with the lovelessness within and letting that lovelessness speak its pain is one way to begin again on love's journey. In relationships, whether heterosexual or homosexual, the partner who is hurting often finds that their mate is unwilling to 'hear' the pain. Women often tell me that they feel emotionally beaten down when their partners refuse to listen or talk. When women communicate from a place of pain, it is often characterized as 'nagging.' Sometimes women hear repeatedly that their partners are 'sick of listening to this shit.' Both cases undermine self-esteem. Those of us who were wounded in childhood often were shamed and humiliated when we expressed hurt. It is emotionally devastating when the partners we have chosen will not listen. Usually, partners who are unable to respond compassionately when hearing us speak our pain, whether they understand it or not, are unable to listen because that expressed hurt triggers their own feelings of powerlessness and helplessness. Many men never want to feel helpless or vulnerable. They will, at times, choose to silence a partner with violence rather than witness emotional vulnerability. When a couple can identify this dynamic, they can work on the issue of caring, listening to each other's pain by engaging in short conversations at appropriate times (i.e., it's useless to try and speak your pain to someone who is bone weary, irritable, reoccupied, etc.). Setting a time when both individuals come together to engage in compassionate listening enhances communication and connection. When we are committed to doing the work of love we listen even when it hurts. communication emotional-abuse listening listening-skills listening-to-others love love-quotes pain relationships vulnerability vulnerability-quotes vulnerable bell hooks
7fd647b Between Countess Nordston and Levin there had been established those relations, not infrequent in society, in which two persons, while ostensibly remaining on friendly terms, are contemptuous of each other to such a degree that they cannot even treat each other seriously and cannot even insult each one another. contempt relationships Leo Tolstoy
171138f I'd had a little feeling of destiny. Because, you see, what I mean about affinities is true from friendships down to even the accidental glance at someone on the street-there's always a definite reason somewhere. I think even the poets would agree with me. fate friendship patricia-highsmith poets red-string-of-fate relationships the-price-of-salt Patricia Highsmith
e80efdd Because nothing between human beings is uncomplicated and there's no way to speak of human beings without simplifying and misrepresenting them. relationships Joyce Carol Oates
b889956 In the world I lived in, the world of human people, there were ties and debts and consequences and good deeds. That was what bound people to society; maybe that was what constituted society. And I tried to live in my little niche in it the best way I could. debts deeds relationships society Charlaine Harris
2127b47 Still, who could say what men ever were looking for? They looked for what they found; they knew what pleased them only when they saw it. men relationships tastes types Henry James
7b56b3e "But you smiled at me and said consolingly, "People come back again." "Yes" I said, "they come back, but then they have forgotten". There must have been something odd, something passionate in the way I said that to you. For you rose to your feet as well and looked at me, affectionately and very surprised. You took me by the shoulders. "What's good is not forgotten; I will not forget you," you said, and as you did so you gazed intently at me as if to memorise my image." relationships Stefan Zweig
c6fd8d4 God's love for us is everlasting. That means that God's love for us existed before we were born and will exist after we have died. It is an eternal love in which we are embraced. Living a spiritual life calls us to claim that eternal love for ourselves so that we can live our temporal loves - for parents, brothers, sisters, teachers, friends, spouses, and all people who become part of our lives - as reflections or refractions of God's eternal love. No fathers or mothers can love their children perfectly. No husbands or wives can love each other with unlimited love. There is no human love that is not broken somewhere. When our broken love is the only love we can have, we are easily thrown into despair, but when we can live our broken love as a partial reflection of God's perfect, unconditional love, we can forgive one another our limitations and enjoy together the love we have to offer. relationships Henri J.M. Nouwen
d5eac1d Sam looked at me soft. And she hugged me. And I closed my eyes because I wanted to know nothing but her arms. relationships security Stephen Chbosky
5a4ea30 How come every squitty little shitty snotty bastard knows my name? personalities relationships Nick Hornby
afe2d4e I wasn't even sure I wanted a man in my life again; by that time I'd exhausted the notion that the answer to a man is another man, and I was out of breath. relationships Margaret Atwood
8d1a0ea I milked, of course, and did some work around the barn, and tried not to think about Brian, which was like trying not to breathe. relationships Catherine Gilbert Murdock
d93f3ad It was true. Men could be with whomever they pleased. But women had to date better, kinder, richer, and bright, bright, bright, or else people got embarrassed. feminism feminism-gender gender gender-roles relationships Lorrie Moore
4783aec Love is an exercise in selective perception relationships Esther Perel
4c5b6b4 Suddenly the thought that the end of her life was imminent shocked him; it was one thing to pity someone he didn't know, quite another to face the same dilemma with someone he knew intimately. That was the trouble with beds. They turned strangers into intimates more quickly than ten years of polite teas in parlours. relationships Colleen McCullough
f65ab73 To be honest, going out with Ed after Josh is like moving on to Duchy Originals super-tasty seeded loaf after plastic white bread. (I don't mean to be rude about Josh. And I didn't realize it at the time. But it is. He is. Plastic white bread.) relationships Sophie Kinsella
949c02d "I will be on the look out for you, my dear girl," he wrote. "You must expect to give yourself up when you come." For this buttoned-up age, for Burnham, it was a letter that could have steamed itself open." relationships Erik Larson
22646c6 Young girls often feel strong, courageous, highly creative, and powerful until they begin to receive undermining sexist messages that encourage them to conform to conventional notions of femininity. To conform they have to give up power. feminism literature love patriarchy relationships bell hooks
7f74547 Every woman feels. It just takes the right man to make things combust. lover lovers men men-and-women relationship relationships romance sex women women-s-fiction women-writers Barbara Delinsky
e7663ce The thing about girls? Suzanne said. Is we are more content-driven. girls men-and-women relationships George Saunders
3f3cb9e `shqh khh adm blh mykhnh y fqT dmy Hmq `shq myshn? love-quotes relationships Orhan Pamuk
5a3c5cd Most folks believe we are hardwired biologically to long for sex but they do not believe we are hardwired to long for love. Almost everyone believes that we can have sex without love; most folks do not believe that a couple can have love in a relationship if there is no sex. love men relationships Bell Hooks
2eb853c I read once that sorrow looks back, worry looks around, and faith looks ahead. life love relationships Sandra Steffen
1469cce All human beings are alone. No other person will completely feel like we do, think like we do, act like we do. Each of us is unique, and our aloneness is the other side of our uniqueness. The question is whether we let our aloneness become loneliness or whether we allow it to lead us into solitude. Loneliness is painful; solitude is peaceful. Loneliness makes us cling to others in desperation; solitude allows us to respect others in their uniqueness and create community. Letting our aloneness grow into solitude and not into loneliness is a lifelong struggle. It requires conscious choices about whom to be with, what to study, how to pray, and when we ask for counsel. But wise choices will help us to find the solitude where our hearts can grow in love. isolation loneliness relationships solitude Henri J.M. Nouwen
b729150 To listen is very hard, because it asks of us so much interior stability that we no longer need to prove ourselves by speeches, arguments, statements, or declarations. True listeners no longer have an inner need to make their presence known. They are free to receive, to welcome, to accept. Listening is much more than allowing another to talk while waiting for a chance to respond. Listening is paying full attention to others and welcoming them into our very beings. The beauty of listening is that, those who are listened to start feeling accepted, start taking their words more seriously and discovering their own true selves. Listening is a form of spiritual hospitality by which you invite strangers to become friends, to get to know their inner selves more fully, and even to dare to be silent with you. hospitality listening relationships Henri J.M. Nouwen
da616ff I think of that, too: her mind. Her brain, all those coils, and her thoughts shuttling through those coils like fast, frantic centipedes. Like a child, I picture opening her skull, unspooling her brain and sifting through it, trying to catch and pin down her thoughts. What are you thinking, Amy? The question I've asked most often during our marriage, if not out loud, if not to the person who could answer. I suppose these questions stormcloud over every marriage: What are you thinking? How are you feeling? Who are you? What have we done to each other? What will we do? relationships Gillian Flynn
701c373 "Dad, is she serious?" John shrugged. "I argue with your Mama, I sleep on the couch and she doesn't feed me. So i dont argue with your mama." humor laugh-out-loud relationships truth truth-of-life Molly McAdams
a7fca8c Many women think that if they put out too quickly, their partner won't respect them. This is not the case. It's not about waiting for a certain quantity of time before having sex, it's about waiting for a certain quality of connection. relationships sex women Neil Strauss
1d9d350 The thought of writing was always pleasant, but the process was painful family-contact pain reality relationships writing Monica Ali
a0ea8e6 There was a warmth of fury in his last phrases. He meant she loved him more than he her. Perhaps he could not love her. Perhaps she had not in herself that which he wanted. It was the deepest motive of her soul, this self-mistrust. It was so deep she dared neither realise nor acknowledge. Perhaps she was deficient. Like an infinitely subtle shame, it kept her always back. If it were so, she would do without him. She would never let herself want him. She would merely see. relationships D. H. Lawrence
01ecde5 "High school sweetheart" is such an innocuous-sounding term for something that can tear out your guts." love relationships Daria Snadowsky
745e1bb But certainly not everyday you can find someone who wants to have a monogamous relationship lovers relationships Emily Giffin
71757ee Vengeance and forgiveness are about reconciling the accounts, but accounting is an ugly description of the tangled ways we're connected. I sometimes think everything comes out even in the end, but an end that arches beyond the horizon, beyond our capacity to perceive or measure, and that in many cases those who trespass against you do so out of a misery that means the punishment preceded and even precipitated the crime. Maybe that's acceptance. acceptance forgiveness relationships vengeance Rebecca Solnit
c34efb6 Judging Natalie as my mother had judged me was, I felt like telling her son, just my ass-backward way of showing love. I'd spent my life trying to translate that language, and now I realized I had come to speak it fluently. When was it that you realized the thread woven through your DNA carried the relationship deformities of your blood relatives as much as it did their diabetes and bone density? relationships relatives Alice Sebold
39897c1 I was very happy in both my marriages. I was unfaithful and so were they, just like any other normal couple. divorce faithfulness inspirational love marriage relationships Paulo Coelho
ef1caec The women you've slept with, the ones you never did but primed for a future encounter, the ones who seemed interested but then suddenly stopped texting: Unless you do something horribly wrong, they never completely disappear. A lonely night, a cheating boyfriend, a sudden breakup, an attack of low self-esteem, an attack of high self-esteem--anything can, out of the blue, send them scrolling through their address book looking for validation, for security, for conversation, for adoration, for the fantasy of you filling some empty space in her life. relationships women Neil Strauss
f2a2530 Hay grandeza y dignidad en la tragedia, por eso es fuente de inspiracion, pero no quiero tragedia, por inmortal que sea, quiero una dicha sin bulla, intima y muy discreta, para no provocar los celos de los dioses, siempre tan vengativos... relationships Isabel Allende
fef938d Terrifying, that the loss of intimacy with one person results in the freezing over of the world, and the loss of oneself! And terrifying that the terms of love are so rigorous, its checks and liberties so tightly bound together... Their relationship depended on her restraint... The premise of their affair, or the basis of their comedy, was that they were two independent people, who needed each other for a time, who would always be friends, but who, probably, would not always be lovers. Such a premise forbids the intrusion of the future, or too vivid an exhibition of need. lovers relationships James Baldwin
61929ea The blame of course belonged to Clyde, who just was not much given to talk. Also, he seemed very little curious himself: Grady, alarmed sometimes by the meagerness of his inquiries and the indifference this might suggest, supplied him liberally with personal information; which isn't to say she always told the truth, how many people in love do? or can? but at least she permitted him enough truth to account more or less accurately for all the life she had lived away from him. It was her feeling, however, that he would as soon not hear her confessions: he seemed to want her to be as elusive, as secretive as he was himself. relationships romance truth Truman Capote
58b62fb When culture is based on a dominator model, not only will it be violent, but it will frame all relationships as power struggles. relationships bell hooks
c7c7468 Okay, then, what was he like? Just give me something to go on so that I have a shot at him!' 'A shot at him? Are you on an elk hunt? humor relationships teenagers Sara Zarr
2a2284e For better or for worse, but not for lunch,... marriage relationships Abigail Thomas
a442c47 Nothing we can do together is ever going to be embarrassing. love relationships sex Rebecca York
96b7d3a "When I opened my case in the hotel, he gestured excitedly at my snakeskin sandals, turquoise suede wedges and silver-speckled jellies. "But you've loads of shoes," he bellowed joyfully. I shook my head sadly. Men just don't get it, do they? They're definitely missing the shoe chromosome." men relationships shopping Marian Keyes
67fea49 Women know more about words than men ever will. And they know how little they can ever possibly mean. relationships women words William Faulkner
4605832 She got herself widowed, divorced, married, and pregnant - all in ten days' time. relationships Betty Smith
a319351 When God makes a covenant with us, God says: 'I will love you with an everlasting love. I will be faithful to you, even when you run away from me, reject me, or betray me.' In our society we don't speak much about covenants; we speak about contracts. When we make a contract with a person, we say: 'I will fulfill my part as long as you fulfill yours. When you don't live up to your promises, I no longer have to live up to mine.' Contracts are often broken because the partners are unwilling or unable to be faithful to their terms. But God didn't make a contract with us; God made a covenant with us, and God wants our relationships with one another to reflect that covenant. That's why marriage, friendship, life in community are all ways to give visibility to God's faithfulness in our lives together. contracts covenant god god-s-faithfulness relationships Henri J.M. Nouwen
1efe45c Maybe this was a male-female translation problem. I read an article once that said that when women have a conversation, they're communicating on five levels. They follow the conversation that they're actually having, the conversation that is specifically being avoided, the tone being applied to the overt conversation, the buried conversation that is being covered only in subtext, and finally the other person's body language. That is, on many levels, astounding to me. I mean, that's like having a freaking superpower. When I, and most other people with a Y chromosome, have a conversation, we're having a conversation. Singular. We're paying attention to what is being said, considering that, and replying to it. All these other conversations that have apparently been going on for the last several thousand years? I didn't even know that they ~existed~ until I read that stupid article, and I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one. communication-problem communication-skills dating gender gender-differences gender-stereotypes men men-and-women relationships women women-and-men Jim Butcher
3782afb I can forgive almost any crime if a great story is left in its wake. relationships storytelling Pat Conroy
9bc4792 Everyone has their love story. Everyone. It may have been a fiasco, it may have fizzled out, it may never even have got going, it may have been all in the mind, that doesn't make it any less real. Sometimes, it makes it more real. Sometimes, you see a couple, and they seem bored witless with one another, and you can't imagine them having anything in common, or why they're still living together. But it's not just habit or complacency or convention or anything like that. It's because once, they had their love story. Everyone does. It's the only story. julian-barnes love love-story meaningful relationships the-only-story true-love unrequited-love validation Julian Barnes
ae506b1 Being friends is different from being lovers. It's a sea change. friendship love love-story lovequotes lovers relationships romance women women-s-fiction women-writers Barbara Delinsky
5dc5162 "You know what you need?" "What?" "You need to think about what a badass bald man would do in this situation" "There are no badass bald men. By definition." "What about Dwight D. Eisenhower?" Carlos suggested. "President Eisenhower?" "Doesn't he qualify as a badass?" Carlos insisted. "Look, he may have been president, but he doesn't exactly come to people's minds when you ask them to think of a badass." "All right. How about Kojak?" Carlos asked. "That police detective show with Telly Savalas?" Sammy asked. "Yeah, Kojak. He was a badass. Always cool under pressure." "All right," Sammy replied. "Let's just say, for the sake of argument, that Kojak was a bald badass. So what?' "So you have to imagine how Kojak would deal with this situation we have in front of us. He wouldn't be worried about whether this girl digs bald guys. He would just walk right up to her, knowing that he's a badass and just take care of business. You see, it's all in the delivery." dating heeb humor kojak relationships Zack Love
cf28c25 Destructive behavior--or simply behavior that constantly annoys your spouse to the point of desperation--is not right, and there will always be a serious consequence for it in your marriage and personal life. But every attempt you make to rid yourself of that behavior and do what's right will bring reward. Today, ask God to help break any bad habits that you or your spouse may have. love marriage prayer relationships Stormie Omartian
1bf1e80 You're still in it. You'll always be in it. No, not literally. But in your heart. Nothing ever ends, not if it's gone that deep. You'll always be walking wounded. That's the only choice, after a while. Walking wounded, or dead. Don't you agree? irrevocable julian-barnes relationships the-only-story walking-wounded Julian Barnes
67b304e ...friends were more important than lovers - not least for the fact that friendships generally lasted longer than relationships. relationships John Irving
5c8993c I pray you indulge me for a space, for I am going to set out on a speech which may have some duration, but whose theme may be gleaned from its opening phrase: how dare you. relationships David Mamet
1730498 I didn't want to pick at Micah and me until we unraveled. I wanted to leave it alone and enjoy it. I just didn't know how to do that. relationships Laurell K. Hamilton
d26e974 A while back, when Dick and Barry and I agreed that what really matters is what you like, not what you are like, Barry proposed the idea of a questionnaire for prospective partners. interests relationships Nick Hornby
80bbe48 Because the greater the love, the more devastating the sense of betrayal. love relationships Jill Mansell
039d67d And I have to say, books haven't helped much with all this. Because whenever you read anything about love, whenever anyone tries to define it, there's always a state or an abstract noun, and I try to think of it like that. But actually, love is... Well, it's just you. And when you go, it's gone. Nothing abstract about it. love love-quotes relationships Nick Hornby
5720350 She broke my heart, so now I have to write about her forever. It made everything different. It's something that can only happen once. lesbian lesbian-romance love relationships romance true-love Michelle Tea
3e33b89 This time, something different happens, though. It's the daydreaming that does it. I'm doing the usual thing--imagining in tiny detail the entire course of the relationship, from first kiss, to bed, to moving in together, to getting married (in the past I have even organized the track listing of the party tapes), to how pretty she'll look when she's pregnant, to names of children--until suddenly I realize that there's nothing left to actually, like, happen. I've done it all, lived through the whole relationship in my head. I've watched the film on fast-forward; I know the whole plot, the ending, all the good bit. Now I've got to rewind and watch it all over again in real time, and where's the fun in that? And fucking ... when's it all going to fucking stop? I'm going to jump from rock to rock for the rest of my life until there aren't any rocks left? I'm going to run each time I get itchy feet? Because I get them about once a quarter, along with the utilities bills. More than that, even, during British Summer Time. I've been thinking with my guts since I was fourteen years old, and frankly speaking, between you and me, I have come to the conclusion that my guts have shit for brains. relationships Nick Hornby
d0014cf When I no longer have your heart I will not request your body your presence or even your polite conversation. I will go away to a far country separated from you by the sea -- on which I cannot walk -- and refrain even from sending letters describing my pain. heartache heartbreak poems poetry relationships Alice Walker
887e8b4 "Our surface relationships are leaving us increasingly lonely...We ache for deeper connections as we're blinded by the spotlight of public superficial relationships. We leave someone sitting before us, waiting while we "finish one more thing" on our phone screen. But that's just it; we never seem to finish. A heart without a face looks like any other heart. It's the face to face that tells us if a heart-to-heart is real." relationships Beth Moore
b52b21b Because he was always tremendously generated towards complete relationship with his women to the point where they ended up in one convoluted octopus mess of souls and tears and fellatio and hotel room schemes and rubbing in and out of cars and doors and great crises in the middle of the night... (p. 128) promiscuity relationships Jack Kerouac
c34a03f I never want to put my whole world in any one person's hands again, Jason. If they die, I won't die with them.' 'So you'll hold a little of yourself back from everybody.' 'No,' I said, 'I'll hold back a piece of myself for myself. No one gets all of me, Jason, no one, except me. anita-blake-vampire-hunter death independence jason-schuyler laurell-k-hamilton love relationships strong-women Laurell K. Hamilton
e3e1a41 I don't want to be somebody's crush. If somebody likes me, I want them to like the real me, not what they think I am. And I don't want them to carry it around inside. I want them to show me, so I can feel it, too. I want them to be able to do whatever they want around me. And if they do something I don't like, I'll tell them. relationships Stephen Chbosky
4177474 They shared a laugh, and then the silence that so often intruded on their discussion asserted itself once again, a gap born of equal parts weariness, familiarity and--conversely--the many differences that fate had created between those who had once gone about lives that were but variations on a single melody. relationships Christopher Paolini
478559c He knew very well that the great majority of human conversation is meaningless. A man can get through most of his days on stock answers to stock questions, he thought. Once he catches onto the game, he can manage with an assortment of grunts. This would not be so if people listened to each other, but they don't. They know that no one is going to say anything moving and important to them at that very moment. Anything important will be announced in the newspapers and reprinted for those who missed it. No one really wants to know how his neighbor is feeling, but he asks him anyway, because it is polite, and because he knows that his neighbor certainly will not tell him how he feels. What this woman and I say to each other is not important. It is the simple making of sounds that pleases us. conversation listening politeness relationships status-quo Peter S. Beagle
860b720 The person following is never in control, which she knows full well and which is exactly why she does it. following leadership psychology relationships Sara Gruen
9a7b9bc I actually felt awed by the remote possibilities of the person liked ever liking you back a corresponding amount. fiction marisha-pessl possibilities relationships romance the-odds Marisha Pessl
4d03ab2 The constant vigilance and my heightened anxiety that I'd screw it up anyway exhausted me, but I persevered. communication observation perseverance relationships social-anxiety Tracey Garvis Graves
98b5d7b I think of that, too: her mind. Her brain, all those coils, and her thoughts shuttling through those coils like fast, frantic centipedes. Like a child, I picture opening her skull, unspooling her brain and sifting through it, trying to catch and pin down her thoughts. What are you thinking, Amy? centipedes gone-girl love over-thinking relationships the-mind the-unknown thinking-process thoughts Gillian Flynn
a095135 In hindsight, I have no idea why he was ever with me. He thought highly of my breasts. And . . . that's it, I think. love love-humor men relationships Emma Forrest
b8d0b42 The smaller we feel in the world, the more we need to shine in the eyes of our partner. partner relationships Esther Perel
51b7ba8 She was sewing together the little proofs of his devotion out of which to make a garment for her tattered love and faith. He cut into the faith with negligent scissors, and she mended and sewed and rewove and patched. He wasted, and threw away, and could not evaluate or preserve, or contain, or keep his treasures. Like his ever torn pockets, everything slipped through and was lost, as he lost gifts, mementos--all the objects from the past. She sewed his pockets that he might keep some of their days together, hold together the key to the house, to their room, to their bed. She sewed the sleeve so he could reach out his arm and hold her, when loneliness dissolved her. She sewed the lining so that the warmth would not seep out of their days together, the soft inner skin of their relationship. love relationships Anaïs Nin
7f9fb9f We seem to be unable to resist overstating every aspect of ourselves: how long we are on the planet for, how much it matters what we achieve, how rare and unfair are our professional failures, how rife with misunderstandings are our relationships, how deep are our sorrows. Melodrama is individually always the order of the day. melodrama relationships self significance sorrows Alain de Botton
ab3d14b She called for her fiance and told him not to take on so, and that they would still be married, even if he was but a prince and she a queen, and she chucked him beneath his pretty chin and kissed him until he smiled. relationships Neil Gaiman
e266ed9 Involved is neither good nor bad. It is just a consequence of living, a consequence of occupation and immigration, of empires and expansion, of living in each other's pockets... one becomes involved and it is a long trek back to becoming uninvolved. relationships Zadie Smith
67b7dce Deep in our nature we are foragers, and life is a process of gathering the resources we need from a large connected planet. It's all out there -- every color, shade, flavor and mutation of life and experience. Whatever we are looking for, we will find... if it doesn't find us first. However, the result will not be what we're consciously looking for but what we're unconsciously seeking. And so, what we want, will never be anything like what we expect. It is the forager's law -- you can find the berry bush, but you can't control its yield. polyamory relationships Neil Strauss
cc6ab17 "And I think, "I'm so fucking lonely". I go home and cry for a while. I am almost 32. That's not old especially in New York. But the fact is it has been years since I even liked someone. So how likely is it I'll meet someone I love enough to marry? I'm tired of not knowing who I'll be with, or if I'll be with anyone." relationships Gillian Flynn
95948ef I had begun to feel that life was a repetition of the same thing; that there was nothing new either in me or in him; and that, on the contrary, we kept going back as it were on what was old. marriage old-habits relationships stagnant Leo Tolstoy
f3cc1e7 Love them that hate you, but you can't love them whom you hate. love relationships Leo Tolstoy
564f959 "I wondered straightaway how he could sit at peace there, of an evening, with the row of heads staring down at him. There were no pictures, no flowers: only the heads of chamois. The concession to melody was the radiogram and the stack of records of classical music. Foolishly, I had asked, "Why only chamois?" He answered at once, "They fear Man." This might have led to an argument about animals in general, domestic, wild, and those which adapt themselves to the whims and vagaries of the human race; but instead he changed the subject abruptly, put on a Sibelius record, and presently made love to me, intently but without emotion. I was surprised but pleased. I thought, "We are suited to one another. There will be no demands. Each of us will be self-contained and not beholden to the other." All this came true, but something was amiss. There was a flaw - not only the nonappearance of children, but a division of the spirit. The communion of flesh which brought us together was in reality a chasm, and I despised the bridge we made. Perhaps he did as well. I had been endeavouring for ten years to build for my self a ledge of safety. ("The Chamois")" relationships Daphne du Maurier
0c0150c "Back at home, days later, feel cranky and tired. Sit on the couch and tell him he's stupid. That you bet he doesn't know who Coriolanus is. That since you moved in you've noticed he rarely reads. He will give you a hurt, hungry-to-learn look, with his James Cagney eyes. He will try to kiss you. Turn your head. Feel suffocated. (from "How")" discontent relationships Lorrie Moore
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